(name changed but written with client’s consent)
When I first meet a client, there’s a basic introductory chat to put them at ease before they start talking about their situation. The next step is to gain some information on their personal history of events and experiences, as this can have an impact on current situations. I also like to evaluate the type of personality a client is, which gives an idea of how they deal with life. How to recover from emotional and physical burnout.
From time to time a client will come along who is so broken that when we come out the other side, the feeling I get is very rewarding.
When I first met Susan, she was, as she put it, a wreck!
She presented as a people pleaser – someone who will put others first and push themselves hard and not rest constantly. We call them B.O.S.S personalities – Burnt Overload Safety System. The symptoms they present are a result of the unconscious mind trying to alert and protect them.
Susan had been running a successful interior design business. Working long hours to fulfill client deadlines. Ever a committed people pleaser in work and in life, she constantly sought approval, avoided conflicts, and pushed herself to the limit, to the point of suffering from exhaustion.
Susan had suffered from constant physical pain for the last seventeen years. The current sleep deprivation and long working hours had added to this. She had no physical boundaries in place, meaning that she would soldier on to please her clients, family, and everyone around her.
She was just 54 years old, happily married, and a mother to two beautiful daughters, both in their twenties.
On the surface, her life looked idyllic. However, from our first few sessions, I discovered that those still waters ran deep.
Having visited her GP on multiple occasions for the pain, lack of sleep, and mood swings, S was simply diagnosed with depression and prescribed anti-depressants.
She had quit running her business due to her exhaustion, depression, and general lackluster attitude to anything. She went on to manage the bookkeeping for her husband’s business. Through lack of any motivation and care for how she looked or felt, she stopped taking care of herself, put on weight, and was hiding it by wearing baggy clothing. Having no energy left in the tank, even cleaning her teeth or brushing her hair were tiresome tasks. Some days she lacked the desire to even get out of bed.
During our first few sessions, we uncovered traumas that stemmed as far back as her childhood.
She had not felt wanted by her parents when she was young. Before her Father’s passing when she was just 7 years old, she had witnessed him physically abusing her Mother. She went on to experience a continually difficult relationship with her Mum and new Step-Father.
After meeting her husband, she felt that his Mother was controlling their lives and putting a strain on their relationship. The issue of trust had raised its head when she discovered her husband was having an affair.
More recently, one of her daughters had come out as gay. For her, it was a huge shock and she didn’t know how to react.
Susan had not been able to manage any of her past traumas. She was not letting go. By talking through each of them one by one I was allowing her to put each into perspective. By assigning herself to blame for everything, she had taken on mental and physical burdens. Her unconscious mind, while trying to protect her from harm, was giving pain signals to alert her that something was wrong.
After just one session she reported back to me that the pain she had experienced for years had considerably subsided. She’d felt a mental and physical freeing of her emotions and was very much looking forward to our second session. I assured her that we still had a long way to go, but as long as she was to continue talking things through and opening up then things would get better for her. Through talking, together we would be engaging her body’s wisdom, using kinesiology and muscle testing for reasons and answers to her problems, and also the techniques of Blast and OldPain2Go.
I had prescribed Susan some Oak Bach flower essence. Just 2 drops in water and sipping regularly helps calm the mind of people, just like S, who push on beyond their limits. This provides a calming effect, and strength of mind, allowing her to take a step back and let go.
On arriving for her second session she was in high spirits as, although she had been very active while moving house since the first session, she felt refreshed having been reasonably pain-free and able to sleep. Her mind had been busy, but overly so, and had not felt at all tearful.
We explored what she wanted from life for herself. I mentioned that she’d said a few times that she was only here to serve others. With that continued mindset she would never break the cycle of old patterns. She would still be avoiding her own happiness in exchange for seeking approval from others. Despite sounding selfish at first, she would need to focus more on her own inner desires, wants, and needs.
By the third session, Susan was reporting a much better night’s sleep, less body and mind fatigue, and generally more energy. She looked more alive than ever, oozing happiness and positivity.
She had used her talents to redecorate their new home, even recognising how well she had done and was proud of herself. She was even about to start working a part-time job.
These results were over six sessions and she was putting in a lot of hard work herself.
We still keep in touch and she constantly reminds me that I have changed her life. I am so proud of her and what we achieved together.
If you or anyone you know has lost their way then get in touch and let’s have a chat.